The holidays can be magical—but they can also be stressful, especially for co-parents. Balancing schedules, traditions, and family expectations while keeping the focus on your kids isn’t easy, but it’s possible.

Greg and I recap our last podcast and discuss practical tips and personal insights to help you navigate the holiday season with less stress and more joy. Whether you’re newly separated or a seasoned co-parent, these strategies can help you create a holiday experience your kids will treasure while allowing all parents to be involved.

1. Keep the Focus on the Kids

One goal should be at the heart of every holiday plan: making the season fun, simple, and happy for your children.

What We’ve Learned:

Jenn: “We’ve made it a priority to spend Christmas Eve together at one house, so we can both be there for the kids on Christmas morning. It’s not about us—it’s about them. The last two Christmases, Greg has hosted (he has a better house for the Christmas chaos), and I tuck in with our youngest in her bed.”

Greg: “It allows us both to be there for the magic of Christmas morning. And, when the kids see us working together, it creates a sense of stability and joy that makes the holidays feel special.”

Jenn: “We make sure to divide and conquer the workload required for the prep, too.”

Greg: “This year, I was working right until Christmas Eve, so Jenn took on most, nearly all, of the shopping and sorting and gathering everything to my place. But, I made sure that while she was there for Christmas Day, I had the food prep and other day-of tasks taken care of.”

2. Plan Early and Communicate Clearly

Avoid last-minute stress by planning your holiday schedule well in advance. Use tools like a shared Google calendar to keep everyone on the same page.

Tips for Success:

Discuss holiday plans as early as possible.

Greg: “We were planning the logistics of Christmas early fall this year. But our first co-parent Christmas was patched together over a couple of weeks.”

Jenn: “I was a bit resistant to the idea at first. I think what won me over was the fact that the mess would be in his house… just kidding!”

Be clear but flexible about plans while keeping consideration for your co-parent, extended family, and their time and effort in mind.

Greg: “Finding the balance between our past family traditions with extended family while building new traditions as a co-parented family was, and still is, a challenge.”

Jenn: “But we both got on board with going with the flow while also letting go of a lot of extended family expectations. We work to simplify the holiday for the kids as much as possible.”

Jenn: “But Stay flexible—things don’t always go as planned, and that’s okay.

Greg: “If we’ve learned anything in our marriage, our separation, and our rebuilt friendship, it’s that plans are rough sketches, not the final blueprint.”

Jenn: “I had to let go of a lot of the things that I thought were important but were really just a nightmare to plan around and caused stress for everyone, especially the kids. This year and last

3. Embrace New Traditions

The holidays are a great opportunity to create new traditions that work for your unique family dynamic.

Ideas to Try:

Alternate holiday hosting: One parent hosts Christmas Eve, and the other hosts New Year’s Eve.

Greg: “We’ve done this and last Christmas at my place as it has a larger open-concept living area for us all, and any guests, to hang out comfortably.”

Jenn: “I’ll host New Year's as it will just be the five of us, and I have a good setup for cozy family living-room-sort-of chill time.”

Start a shared tradition, like making decorations, a movie night, or board games.

Greg: “We kept it simple with cookie decorating and movies this year.”

Jenn: “Next year, we’d like to do some polymer clay decorations or something more in-depth. If it happens, great; if not, still great.”

Let the kids have a say in what traditions they want to keep or create.

Greg: “We really let them steer the ship this year.”

Jenn: “I think that actually took a lot of pressure off of each of us! Haha.”

Greg: “Right!?”

4. Let Go of Perfection

It’s easy to get caught up in trying to make the holidays perfect, but perfection isn’t the goal.

• Jenn: “The first year after our separation, and our years together, I stressed over every detail, trying to make everything just right. Now, I focus on what really matters—creating moments of connection and joy.”

• Greg: “Holidays don’t have to look like they used to. What’s important is that the kids feel loved and included, and there is minimal pressure. It is about the quality time spent, not the quantity of crap you pack in.”

5. Manage Emotions and Expectations

Holidays can stir up emotions for both parents and kids. Acknowledge those feelings and focus on keeping things positive.

Strategies:

Take time for self-care so you can show up as your best self.

Greg: “Despite working to keep things as simple as possible, we still had rifts.”

Jenn: “The holidays are always a lot of pressure around everything that needs to be done, events, and such. I had a few moments where I was losing my patience. I had to remember to stop and take some time to re-center. Just little things like grabbing a tea from a drive-through and listening to some music for a bit can go a long way.”

Avoid negative talk about the other parent in front of the kids.

Greg: “No matter what your relationship is with your co-parent, or how frustrated you get with each other, it is imperative that you don't vent about your co-parent in front of the kids. They are half of each of you. They don't need to start feeling like they need to referee their parents."

Jenn: “I’ve learned that even when you think the kids aren’t listening, they usually are. Finding healthy outlets to talk with when the kids are not around—whether it’s a trusted friend or therapist—is so important.”

Remember, it’s about progress, not perfection.

Greg: “Keep in mind that this is new ground for you, your kids, and your co-parent, and it’s rare that anything goes ‘as planned’ in life.”

Jenn: “Give yourself grace and your co-parent grace, and hold onto keeping it about the kids while you guys rebuild your friendship.”

Conclusion

Navigating the holidays as co-parents isn’t always easy, but it’s worth the effort. By focusing on your kids, planning ahead, and embracing new traditions, you can create a holiday season that’s joyful and stress-free.

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